‘that was it?’ when you’re dreams come true and you’re just “meh”

true story.

My brother’s friend became a coach, underdog, huge crew level team for hiphop international – and won. He posted about feeling kinda of ——??? at the moment of announcement on facebook. I saw the mothers of the local hiphop community comment below “yes, chips that was it.” and i felt unsatisfied by the answer ???

cause isn’t that a special kind of misery ? when you worked blood sweat and tears and it didn’t live up to your expectations ? in tony robbins books that’s when someone mastered their material world but not their inner world. They know how to stay laser focused on their dreams (yang) but not how to enjoy what they have reaped (yin). And one of the most basic practices of the yin aspect- is appreciating, being in absolute grace for all the amazing things you have RIGHT NOW.

Let’s do some examples.

1. When I was younger, my mom used to have to pay ..expensive dance instructors for ballroom lessons which I found fun. I didn’t get to do it as often as i wanted to because we didn’t have the money. i remember sincerely wishing – i wish guys would just dance with me.

Fast forward to years later, I’m a salsa dancer. Where you dance everyone in the scene, and i have no rest- guys always ask for me for a dance, and i’m pretty good and I enjoy it a lot. I didn’t have a disappointed “that was it?” moment; Instead I felt honored that guys would go through all the effort of learning to dance with a girl, and for a song, that would be me. (yes it’s tiring sometimes, but I’m happy?)

2. Another instance was when i wanted to be an artist/teacher level social dancer.

to be able to freely express myself and go wild with people on the dance floor. I can say this as genuinely as i can be – I DO THAT NOW. And what’s weird is that i always thought that i’d have to live in new york for a year before i get to that level but— I went there ? and the scene isn’t as good as i thought ? I think as a 3rd world country, we were just insecure with our talents , but we’re just as good ??? we have better connection? we’re friendlier. also there are a handful of exceptional people in our scene that are international congress level dances- that i can enjoy EVERY WEEK! what i was looking for was already here.

What i didn’t expect was that there’s a danger of getting bored, when the dancing and the further discovery loses it’s magic. Cause to get even better, becomes harder, and there will be more people not on your level that you’d have to exercise patience with when dancing. ALSO, the international teachers lose some of their magic as you come closer to their level. I kinda miss when I was a beginner and I was just at awe at EVERYBODY. LITERALLY ANYONE DOING IT.

3. I now have a more mature appreciation and looking at teaching.

I recently taught some hiphop dancer who inspired me to dance, like literally they were part of the reason why i bothered dancing anyway. And AND ANAD ADNAND. I have the credentials to teach partner dance, I want to share what i love. But it was so damn. surreal! And my head couldn’t fully explode cause I was already mentally critiquing my teaching methods to be better. So i  could help my own salsa mama make the local dancing scene better and share the love of dance and letting go to the music with someone . . .. .

and well. I’m trying to keep the younger maalia always in my heart to always put these things into perspective and keep appreciating the way you did when you started.

remind yourself when you were just starting, and you will never be disappointed when you’re dreams arrive.

Maalia

 

have your own experience of this ? do share below 🙂