Growing a (temporary) etheric dick

Hello! Okay I hope I don’t scare off any of the sincere spiritual seekers off of here because of the click-baity(?) odd(?) title but I promise you I am sharing for the sake of other people who might have/will ecounter a similiar experience and for folks to have an expanded notion of their energetic bodies.

I’m maria! I identify as non-binary but dont mind being cis-woman passing most days. I do a lot of somatic bodywork and a lot of shamanic energetic healing work for people. I’ve had awakening experiences since 2016 and more or less work with spirit to invoke, integrate and ground down various energies and downloads for the earth plane.

One of the events I was invited to last year (that’s 2022) was a shakti retreat to support a divine feminine, heart awakening for its participants. As someone who also likes teaching polarity work (I’ve also worked as a social dance teacher before so divine feminine and masculine paired as an exercises of union is very clear to me) — I am very adamant about having a balanced practice.

The divine feminine can be very chaotic, and without the proper container of a masculine responsible structure it can easily go astray. For people who have difficulties with this gendering, understand that masc/femme here is less about gender norms and more about yin/yang.

If there’s so much 

explosion life water fire(yin) it also needs its containment death earth air (yang).

So for this retreat, I received that I would be transmitting the masculine pole of the energies. Specifically i could see released coil snakes and a herculean, trident and wrestling man tying them down to earth. I know that its quite common for “awakening” junkies to simply seek for a transcending and “upward” spiritual growth and experience. However the depth of your “downward” root and integration is just as important of a direction especially of you as a soul have chosen to walk manifest in this plane.

So getting on about my etheric dick.

A week before the retreat I noticed that I am just generally very horny. The area around my private parts became very engorged and I had a very high libido. It was almost uncomfortable, because even after I satisfied myself I still found my lower area engorged as if it was piercing something.

When the retread day arrived, and we travelled to the mountains I found myself growing increasingly quieter and the simple realization that an energy was pushing forth between my legs. It was basically a dick, eventually it grew to a size of a third leg as if anchoring and hooking me down the floor. Its good that i’ve exposed myself to tantric practices such that I wasn’t overwhelmed w the idea of just Big Etheric Dicks.

I knew that these energies were more about consciousbess and ripping open and death and that they were symbolic rather than me being a trans man. Our retreat involved a hike and so I invoked my patriarchal line to guide me in this task.

I remember asking the organizer if there was no teacher (a male one) who had a depth of experience in harnessing the masculine pole of energetics that could do what I would be doing. (This is the philippines). They said none that they knew of. It made me kind of sad to be honest. I dont mind holding the masculine pole, as a non binary person. But also it’s wild how there aren’t many male adepts in the philippines. (Maybe theyre in martial arts? Or business…)

Going back to the experience, I found myself incredibly sympathetic of the men in my patriarchal line. I would call them very saturnian. We have a lot of military men and theyve had to bear the weight of many responsibilities, making their energy bodies very dense and grave. Serious and almost seeming closed off as they have to address important matters. One of the event organizers kept teasing me that “maria has such a huge Dick!” since she could feel the energy that I was channeling.

In the retreat itself, a lot of the participants took small doses of mushrooms, and had repe which caused some vomitting. My psychic sense are quite, open, and so I could tell how far their souls journeyed and how they were doing while they were in it. Some were distracted, some had bouts of doubt and giving up, some ventured to old and vast loves. A reclamation.

Most of them were shot-up to Allness and had a hard(?) time going back, or at least grounding. I find it funny that the moment repe was shot up my nose I immediately felt a strong call towards my drum to ground everything. I saw stars expand in the sky and all of them fell like densely woven tree roots grounding the sky to the floor. That was what i was supposed to do. I hooked fish hooks on everyone, tree branches with my voice and my drum and i drummed them home. Funny how I also straddled the drum in the whole process. The participants thanked me for the steadying energy of sister drum that felt like a heartbeat. 

I was also just generally thankful that my nether regions felt less uncomfortable post ceremony. It’s like the dick energy vanished as the ceremony concluded and in the next coming days I was significantly horny. I remember chatting a friend that “oh okay so maybe I was horny cause spirit needed me to grow a sexual organ” cause think about it. I mean when I do engage in sexual fantasy/more accurately — contemplation; am I the top or the bottom? Don’t I meditate on union ? So both! Both.

It been about a month past that event, and I know that as someone who does a lot of healing via : the body (as well as channeling people’s higher selves). That the transitions my body goes thru can also be preparation for events and healings that I will channel.

So if you’ve been curious about being helped with whats going on with your body, I would also be happy to channel and give you an energetic perspective of what is happening

Til then,


your soul is welcome here

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