Hi I’m Maria and I think partner dancing is a lot like capital Life.
You can’t help but do it with other people; it’s supposed to be fun. Sometimes you lead, and sometimes you listen.
And based on my experience, it can be really healing and a strangely confessional way of learning about yourself or another person.
How you hold one another, how you hold resposibility for yourself, and your own timing when you’re dancing with your partner. How sincere you smile and say thankyou, how axious you are about being rejected for a dance by that one —pretty girl.
So here’s what I learned from life in x number of parts. Everything I needed to learn, I learned while partner dancing.
#1. Life is supposed to be easier when you help each other.
Take it from a Tango* dancer, dancing is just like walking, The only reason why you’re dancing together is you make each other simply- Better. Look better, feel better. Just like a marriage in normal life, you’re doing your day to day tasks but now with extra hands and help. Doing the dishes, paying taxes, loving and caring for a family.
When you give to each other, the actual, crazy thing that happens is that things actually get easier. You’re not each other’s dead weight. It’s not supposed to be harder or trickier. You actually pull off more complicated walking, tango like things, and look hot while you’re doing it. Wherein fact, that was just walking. Just Walking. How about that.
#22. Energy can’t lie. AKA ‘beauty is from the inside.’
I saw someone once, on the dancefloor who was 100% completely and obliteratingly my type. As if he was plucked out from my fantasies, and the perfect mix of nice stranger and celebrity. But he was a HORRIBLE dance. Bad connection. I felt like he cared more about what he looked like than making the dance any good. Could not enjoy it, truth be told no matter how physically attractive he was – the dance felt dead.
And it will confound you but I’ve danced with guys who – sorry for the term – would be labeled as Losers. Wimpy looking, older awkward- just learned how to dance kind of guys who made you feel like 10 million dollars. Just by the way they cared about you, and genuinely appreciated the dance. I’ve had dances where I was rendered into butter** and I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, because I was interanlly crying from joy from how great of a dance that guy was?? (!!). They’re beautiful period, and I have no other words.
Your energy trumps everything. It’s steeped into every fibre of what you, do and your real beauty can’t help but come out one day. Make sure y’all are actually pretty.
#54. The person you’re looking for ? Is looking for you too.
The funny thing about Life is that we make up a lot of stories and excuses to explain to each other our miserable lives. He won’t dance with me, cause I’m not good enough. Or oh she probably secretly hates me that’s why I can’t get a hold of her. It’s like we don’t even think we deserve a nice dance, and we make up thousands of reasons to not ask.
And you know what ‘s even funnier ? If you finally find each other on the dance floor you go-
OH, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU. Then they go
NO, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.
And you’re both flustered and flattered because we make up a lot of dumb reasons to put ourselves down when the reality is that: The room was just crowded and dark, and I’m not wearing glasses or contacts. The organizer kept me busy. But ofourse I want to dance with you. This is a dance party remember ?***
The person you’re looking for, is looking for you too. Just ask for a dance, a date, the number. Make things easier and they’ll thank you for having the courage to ask first. Don’t catastrophize for no reason. Get out there and dance!
*Argentine Tango, Basil Nadela, highly recommend.
**thanks Ken, you kizomba like butter okay.
***bless you Moggi.
…to be continued…